Second Honeymoon

Well, my true love Craiggie (or Daddy Boy as I often call him) recently went on what I like to refer to a second honeymoon. In actuallity, it was probably a twelveth honeymoon, or something like that. You see, we often like to get away, just the two of us from our spawned offspring. You will learn more about them later. We like to venture off to some unknown place, stay in a moderately priced yet full of character hotel/motel, dine out, drive around, and fool around, the latter being Daddy Boy's prime motivation for these ventures. This year, we took off the day after Christmas. He gave me a few choices of destination - Asheville, Nashville, or Pigeon Forge. Well Asheville's prime attraction was a tour of the Biltmore House - at $78 a pop! No way, I said. I can do a whole lot of antique junking (my favorite past time) for $78. The second choice - Nashville - turned out not to be of much interest since all the good county music acts who might be at the Grand Ole Opry were - duh - spending the holidays with their families. I had no interest in seeing Jimmy Bob Kitchens from East Bumblefield, Kentucky yodel out a ditty. So, off we drove to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. Well, have you ever been to Pigeon Forge? I like to think of it as the Las Vegas of the South, without the gambling. After driving for a few hours thru truly beautiful and majestic mountain landscapes, we came upon the village of Pigeon Forge. Pigeon Forge was a little town in the Great Smokey Mountains National Park. My parents often talked about visiting it on their honeymoon 50 years ago. They described it as a mountain chalet town in the mountains with quaint lodging and home cooked dining. Well, alot has changed in 50 years, most thankfully to Dolly Parton. Yes Dolly came along, bought up the town, built an amusement park around herself, and wa-la - along came the hillbilly tourist. Now Pigeon Forge is a mecca of neon hotel/motels boasting hot tubs, cable tv, indoor water slides, and bedside moon pies. Restaurants feature names like Fat Bob's BBQ, Granny's Flapjacks, and Uncle Jed's Chicken and Waffles. Outlet stores carrying every kind of athletic shoes, brand name knock off handbags, and year round Christmas stores are also a prime attraction. The average Pigeon Forge visitor comes wearing some form of camoflauge apparel and/or acrylic nail tips. They line up to pay hard earned dollars to see comedy shows featuring the offspring of Hee Haw cast members or eat dinner elbow to elbow in a chow line with 299 other visitors while watching a rodeo show called the Dixie Stampede. Well, let me just say, we had a wonderful time. We shopped, dined, and floated in the biggest jacuzzi I've ever seen. It was a great trip. The best part was getting to enjoy every bit of it with my own Daddy Boy. This July will be our 24th wedding anniversary. It's great to be married to your best friend. Especially when he is toasting you with a cranberry fizzie being served out of a plastic cowboy boot at the Dixie Stampede.